Kim V The Little Black Ants
by Fabius Maximus
Summary: She can do anything...what about get rid of some ants.  A story anyone from California will understand...


_Kim Vs. the Little black ants._ A story with speech only, no description.

Note: Yes this story is reflecting real life in California.

* * *

"Oh. Where did all these ants come from?"

"I don't know, dear… Kimmie?"

"Yeah mom?"

"We have to go out…could you do something about these little black ants?"

"Sure mom, no big!"

* * *

Ring, Ring….

"Hello?"

"Hey Kim, this is Ron… you sound….stressed."

"Ron, I've sprayed, and I've sprayed until I'm dizzy from the fumes and they WON'T STAY DEAD!"

"Whoah, KP…what won't stay dead?"

"The little black ants!"

"Little black ants?"

"YES! They're everywhere!"

"Look, Kim… you sound like you need a nap…why don't you just go upstairs and take a few minutes sleeping."

"No! I have to get rid of them!"

"Kim…. This is your Kimness talking…"

"You….think?"

"Just to take a five minute nap, and everything will be OK, KP…"

"Maybe….you're right."

* * *

"Just a little nap…anyway, I did get rid of a lot of those little black ants."

"Right Pandaroo?"

"Wait…what is that on….AIIIIGGGHHHHHH! All the ants came up here! They're on my bed, on my Cuddle Buddy!"

"That's IT! Now you all die!"

"Giggle."

"Twenty seven foggers will kill you all, kill you all, KILL YOU ALL!"

* * *

"Hello?"

"Dr. Possible, this is the fire department, and there's been…a problem at your home."

"What? Is Kimmie OK?"

"Um… in a manner of speaking."

"What manner?"

"Well Dr. Possible, we think she used 27 foggers, which produced an explosive mix that detonated from the pilot light. "

"Oh my God! How is she?"

"She… was fine… just sitting on the sidewalk saying you were going to kill her…then… well…"

"Well what?"

"She saw some little black ants wandering around inside the house and went nuts, stole one of the fire trucks and tried to turn the firehose on the house…when we stopped her, she stole a police vehicle."

"Where is she now?"

"We're not certain…by the way, you do know you have quite the infestation of ants?"

"$(&$!"

* * *

"Kim Possible turned evil?"

"I guess…why else would she be here, Dr. D."

"You're wondering why I've called you here. Drakken, we will use your fractal energy focusing unit, and Dementor's fusion enhancer to turn the sun into a giant LASER BEAM!"

"For vhat purpose…"

"To target the earth…":

"The earth…to burn the earth…that we're on?"

"YES! WE WILL BURN THE MOUNTAINS AND BOIL THE OCEANS IN PURIFYING FIRE, AND THEN WE WILL LIVE IN A WORLD FREE OF _LITTLE BLACK ANTS! HAHAHAHAHA!"_

"Wow."

"What, Dr. D?"

"Her first psychotic break…that's fast. Most villains take a while to have one."

"Yeah…but…"

"Here you go, Shego…"

"Gee, thanks."

"It's a great honor, being the one to use the _rifle of calmness_."

"Rifle of calmness? It's a tranquilizer rifle for Buffalos you got off of _Wild Kingdom._"

"Just shoot her, and lets be done with it."

"Whatever you say."

* * *

"Oh where is Kimmie…."

"Maybe she's hiding."

"She did blow up the house."

"It wasn't her fault."

"Ron, she used twenty seven foggers!"

"She was…. Upset, about the little black ants."

"Why didn't she use our fusion core?"

"Jim, Tim… don't say anything about that to your sister when she comes back…"

"How will she know about this hotel room?"

"Don't worry Ron, her father left a note on the door to our…former house."

"Oh, that's good, Ms. Dr. P."

Ding-ding!

"I'll get it….Kim?"

"Kimmie!"

"Kim…why are you in a straitjacket?"

"Kill them, kill them all….burn them in purifying fire…"

"Oh, never mind, I think I know why."

"Come along Kimmie… we're going to take you to a happy place."

"Bueno Nacho?"

"And then I'll use the combined atomic bombs of the world to BURN every little black ant into ash!"

"No…Ronald, I think we need something a bit more… structured."

* * *

"Don't worry, Dr. Possible…here at the Happy Rest Home Hospital, we pride ourselves on taking heroes and villains alike and calming them down… you wouldn't believe how closely heroism and complete insanity are to each other."

"So she's…"

"In a perfectly white, padded cell… that way, we can calm her down, see…without horse tranquilizers…."

"So white… so pretty. No little black ants."

"I'm calm… I'm happy… I'm…."

"What are those dots?"

"AIGH! They're little black ants! You're in league with them! I'LL GET YOU!"

"And in our lead story, the Happy Rest Home Hospital mysteriously burned down yesterday. Police are not certain if the woman who broke into a hardware store, and left, festooned in bug spraycans, screaming that the world would fall to little black ants was involved..."

End.


End file.
